It took a while, but in the recent days I’ve come to accept that the Coronavirus is real. I joked about it at first because of all of the previous virus fads like Ebola, Smallpox, etc. that the world basically closed down because of before. But now (within these past few days) that I’m a semi-reasonable adult, I’ve come to the conclusion that, yes, the Coronavirus might be kind of a big deal. I don’t have it, nor do I want it. The only cool thing about having it would be all of the attention and special treatment I would get, but let’s not get into that. Regardless of whether or not I have it, this stupid virus is really starting to annoy the shit out of me.
Obviously there have been some hard cases to accept. The legendary Tom Hanks publicly announced that the virus does not discriminate, seeing as he himself has become victimized. The NBA, MLB, and all of hockey have been cancelled. Kobe Bryant is probably rolling over in his grave right this moment. Broadway shows have been cancelled. The freaking ‘Peter Rabbit 2’ premiere has been pushed back to August because of the dang thing, and that’s just where I draw the line people. Pretty much everyone I come in contact with mentions the Coronavirus instead of the weather these days, and if I’m being honest, I’d much rather talk about wind speed than some disgusting body virus. I’m always equipped with hand sanitizer and even bought a mask “just in case.” It’s a rough time out here.
Honestly, I’ve never been crazy about prepping for the apocalypse or other crazy incidents as such. I never stock up on “emergency food”, flashlights, or other items I might need when the world is ending. But now that the whole human race is acting like we are going extinct, I am starting to understand why my fiancé has been so obsessed with stocking up on random crap. To be fair, he’s always been just a “man with a plan” kind of guy. But what is extra annoying is that my favorite hobby is getting destroyed…. shopping. Have you been to any kind of store lately???? Grocery stores are madhouses. People are buying designer clothing because they want to look good in their graves I suppose. I can’t even buy cheap facemasks at drugstores anymore. Every single thing that matters to me in a store is out. And what do I blame for this? The devil’s COVID-19 outbreak. I also can’t go see big performers like Justin Bieber. I can’t go to Europe even though flights are cheap AF at the moment. I can’t even go to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in NYC. And the worst thing I MIGHT not be able to do? Fly home to Texas for my freaking WEDDING in a month. If that happens, all hell is going to break loose and I’m going to see to it.
The point is, the Coronavirus is ruining my life and I don’t even have it. I don’t want it and God help those who do. I am so very deeply sorry for everyone affected by it. Living in a world where everyone is shutting down with or without being infected is no longer a reality that I will accept. Lord help us all.